Don't let that adorable face fool you. She might be comically chubby, covered in thick colourful fur and slow as molasses, but she's a ninja just waiting for her moment to strike.
As cute as cats are they're just as mean. Evil. Malicious. Diabolical even. Be rest assured they're plotting to kill you in your sleep right now. And the best part is you know I'm right. How many times have you nearly tripped and fell walking down the stairs because sweet Spot decided to dart out of the darkness to weave between your legs? Or maybe Mittens thought it would be fun one night to pounce on your half covered feet just as you were dozing off. Perhaps little Fluffy became so entranced by your incessant blinking during a perfectly normal staring contest that she lunged at your eye lashes. Then you just turn around and pat their fuzzy little noggins while cooing sweet nothings.
Misty here is a swirling contradiction of good and evil. She's an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in five pounds of fur. She was born feral, mean and ratty but she transformed into a squishy, lovable fuzzball. The only wildness that remains in her lies in her eyes, expressive and intent.
Normally Misty isn't violent. She's the biggest cat among the three and just as big of a coward. Poor Misty had some tree sap stuck in her fur so Lee and I, being the good masters that we are, went about removing it for her. Lee held her and I started trying to cut the sticky stuff out of her fur. She didn't like that. In fact, sweet Misty disliked that so much, she freaked out, latched onto Lee's bare arm and began clawing and biting it repeatedly. I guess the best defence is a good offence, right Misty?
Needless to say Misty still has sap in her fur and Lee's arm is now covered in cuts.
I guess what I'm trying to say is after a long day filled with exciting and relentless cat attacks it's just nice to sit down to a steaming plate of pasta. Nothing says I hope you don't get a raging infection from those angry cat bites like Lemon Pesto Linguine.